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Strawberry Fields

4/25/2013

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“If dreams are like movies,
then memories are films about ghosts.”
                                        -- Counting Crows


Like Adam Duritz, sometimes I think with faint sadness of ghosts from the past. Those people  whose names conjure warmth or laughter or stories, those people I wish I still knew so they could know my husband, my children, my older self. They are people whose season in my life has passed, and mostly I am accepting of this coming and going.

Yesterday one of my most prominent ghosts said good-bye to his father. Not unexpectedly, but far too soon. And for him, and his wonderful family, I find myself heartbroken.

Though I am cognizant and accepting of seasons and their passing, there are people I used to think I’d always know. People for whom I had assumed I’d always be able to be there. I am struck by this deep sadness and loss, on behalf of others for whom I can do nothing. There is an urge to help, but to them, I am also just a ghost.

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My time has passed. I can pray and will continue to. I can offer deepest condolences.  And I can use this untimely passing to inform my outlook today.

Today my little girls and I ditched the to-do list and went adventuring, through thousands of buttercups, strawberry fields, an antique café and ice cream parlor. My oldest played hooky and we wandered, unhurried, through a bright, gorgeous day.  I continue to grieve, vicariously and to no avail. But I am covered by a sense of peace and overwhelming gratitude for this family, for our life together, and for the gift of today.

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    Christina | Virginia Beach
    Psuedo Yankee, city-loving former working mom of four finds herself home with the kids and transplanted to the somewhat Southern suburbs. Finding her feet while still attempting to harness the power of the passion of her youth for useful good.

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