Smarter Ardor
  • Blog
  • Smarter Living
  • Homemade Fun
  • About

Why Those Words Matter

10/12/2016

42 Comments

 
Picture
I watched the video, you know the one, and felt outraged, though not at all surprised. I always knew Donald Trump was an insecure sexist just the same way you do. He keeps showing us that. So, it wasn’t those words that undid me, wasn’t those words that made me relive my scariest, most degrading moments. I wasn’t sure why I felt hit so hard.

But then a friend posted what should have been an innocuous meme on Facebook—because what was one more?—and I finally broke. I unleashed my frustration in the form of disagreement that hijacked her post. I chose my words carefully. I was respectful. And I apologized for the way I went about it, but I couldn’t apologize for my words. Here’s what I really meant.

I’m angry about the silent men and the deflecting women. I’m utterly baffled that a self-respecting, well-educated, God-fearing man or woman could meet news of those reprehensible words—themselves an admission of repeated, habitual sexual assault—with, “Yeah, but:”

“Yeah, but Clinton isn’t any better…”

“Yeah, but look at what Hillary did when Bill got caught…”

“Yeah, but they’re just words…”

And two that bothered me the most:

“Yeah, but are we actually sure he ever assaulted anyone? Was there ever any proof?”

And, “Yeah, but how come these same women who are upset about this thought nothing of reading Fifty Shades of Grey?”

So, finally, in my own space, with all the courage I can muster, I say, “YEAH, BUT NOTHING.”

Friends, how can this be something we disagree about? What is there to debate? What he said and the actions they betray are abhorrent. Full stop. 

You want to talk about Hillary or Bill? Let’s do that. You want to talk about porn or terrible fiction? Let’s do that. But let’s not intentionally muddy the waters or detract from something that is an abomination all on its own. The consequences are too dire. Let’s not brush off an admission of guilt and demand proof of something that is always done by cowards, almost always in secret and darkness, that takes more bravery than you can imagine to bring into the light.

And by now you've guessed that this is personal, but shouldn’t my words carry more weight because of that? 

Here is where I take a deep breath and ask you to bear with me. Here is where I tell you that when I was seventeen, I was repeatedly harassed at an internship, but at first it was just words. Then one day, he grabbed me by the arm on the stairs and wouldn’t let me go. Another day soon after, he slammed me up against a wall, pinning my hands and pressing against my hips so hard that it hurt. His face so close to mine that I could feel his breath, he threatened to come to my house if I told.

I wrestled and lost sleep, but eventually I told. My parents and sponsor were enraged, but still, in front of a committee of men and women, I had to relive it all in humiliating detail. And then do you know what they asked me?

“Well, did you ask him to stop?”

Even after they admitted that I wasn’t the first to file a complaint, they explained that this was probably just a cultural misunderstanding, since he was an immigrant from the Caribbean. They moved me to a different assignment. As if I were the problem. They assured me he would be fired. "You're not going to press charges, are you?" they said. And somehow I knew, even at seventeen, there would have been no point.

When I was twenty-one, a man I barely knew entered my room while I was sleeping. No, I didn’t ask him to. No, I didn’t invite him into my bed. Yes, of course, I told him to stop. Thank God he finally did. And I carried the shame of that one for most of my adult life, as if it were mine to carry; as if I were the one who had forcefully tried to take what didn’t belong to me.

When I was twenty-five, after attending a mandatory “sensitivity training” about sexual harassment in the workplace in which a white-haired man said, “This is a waste of time. This isn't even a problem anymore," a man at work leered at me from over the top of my cubicle every day for three months. He commented on my appearance crudely, daily, and asked me out repeatedly, though he knew I was married. He told me it was a shame I hadn’t had the chance to “experience him” before I got married. I was the only woman in the department, let alone the office. I hesitated to say anything, knowing it was my word against his, that I had no proof, and that, likely, I’d have to continue to see him every day and even be alone with him regardless of whether I spoke up. Finally, hesitantly, I told the management.

Again, they needed direct quotes, vivid, humiliating details. They interrogated me. They informed me there was nothing they could do “until something happens.” Until something happens, they said.

“Well, did you ask him to stop?” they asked before moving me—not him—to a different office. Mysteriously, a month or two later, my position was no longer needed and I was let go. As if I were the problem. He wasn’t fired until years later, and even then it wasn’t because of the dozens of women who had reported him for sexual harassment; it was because he had lied on his resume.

This is to speak nothing of the other men who found their ways into my room when I was sleeping, though thankfully I was able to yell them out of there. This is to speak nothing of the hands that found their way onto my butt or breasts while in a crowd.

Picture
Maybe you’ve never been sexually assaulted. I sincerely hope that you haven't. Maybe you don’t think you know anyone who has. Do you know what they look like? They look like me, the college-educated, thirty-five-year-old, married mother of three sitting beside you at the stoplight in my minivan or in the next row over in church, walking past you in the grocery store, or bringing you a meal when your wife has a baby. They look like so many of my friends and loved ones, some of whom have had experiences far more horrific than mine, but whose blood doesn’t belong spilled on my page. We are your neighbors, your girlfriends, your sisters, your wives, your daughters. And we are far more than the sum of our experiences.

The words that threw me into a tailspin this week weren’t those of that egomaniac; they were the words of my friends—good, kind, smart people—who don’t seem to understand the weight of those words. When I was a victim, good, kind, smart people asked me loaded questions that suggested I might have been in the wrong, must have been mistaken, must have been exaggerating. They didn’t trust me. They placated me. They silenced me. They changed my response in the future.

If we diminish admissions of sexual assault, if our first instinct is to suspect victims, if we question their role in their own abuse, if we silence their claims, if we ignore them, what will happen next time? What are we teaching our daughters? Our sons? 

From my experience, I have learned that no legislation can insulate a woman from retribution when she reports sexual harassment. It’s in the looks and hushed tones, it’s in the tense atmosphere, it’s in the side eyes and insinuations that "some women are too uptight." In our current culture, there is always retribution.

PicturePhoto credit: Pomax (click for source)
So, when you casually dismiss Trump’s gloating over habitual sexual assault as “locker room banter,” it may be unwitting, but you are complicit in the problem.

When you detract from the horrific nature of not only his words but what it means he has done by changing the subject to someone else's wrongdoing, you may not even realize it, but you are complicit in the problem.

When you try to compare Trump’s words—about repeatedly touching women without their consent—to a fictional series about a woman involved in BDSM with her consent, you are complicit in the problem. My sexual assaults and harassment had one thing in common: I did not give my consent. I can and did choose not to read Fifty Shades of Grey. I did not have that choice when it came to assault. No one does.

And when someone seeking our country’s highest office can get away with these words, when you give him a pass, though you might never dream of doing so, you are telling me, my daughters and yours that our experience doesn’t matter, that our safety doesn’t matter, that our very humanity doesn’t matter.

I know that’s not what you said. You would never say that; of course you wouldn't. But for me and so many millions of other women who have suffered abuse, that’s what we heard.

Good men and women, for the love of God, please be willing to listen to others whose experiences don’t look like yours; please trust them when they tell you what it was like, even if it is hard for you to hear. I promise you, it’s harder for them to say. Please be willing to consider that your words may not be communicating the way you think they are.

I’m walking away from this week feeling bruised. For every prominent Christian leader or conservative who spoke boldly, there seemed to be many more people I actually know who made excuses or encouraged distractions. I’m choosing to unfollow people I like, for the sake of my heart. I’m choosing to post this, the bravest thing I’ve ever written, instead of participating in debates on Facebook. I’m choosing to remind my children—and especially my daughters—at every opportunity that they are the only bosses of their bodies and they alone can determine how and when and by whom they are touched. I am reminding them it is never, ever rude to tell someone to stop. And I am shifting my focus away from “no means no” and teaching my children—and especially my son—to respect the bodies and wishes of others and to look and ask for consent.

It wasn't my intention to make you feel bad, to call you out or to make you angry. I really don't care who you're voting for. I know your opinion of me may change after reading this. Though my husband holds my hand as I launch this into the world, admittedly, I am risking the humiliation of having my father, grandfather, brothers, uncles and friends read this. I am risking having former and potential future employers read this. I’m laying a lot on the line.

But I know who I am: I am loved, treasured, supported and whole. Any potential risk is worth it to me, because I know there are other women unable to share their stories, women who desperately need you to understand that words matter: his, mine and yours.

42 Comments
Sharalee Roberts
10/13/2016 10:00:58 pm

Beautifully and courageously written. Thank you so much for being brave enough to share. I agree 100%. Love you.

Reply
Christina link
10/13/2016 10:19:38 pm

Thank you so much, Sharalee. Love you too.

Reply
Amy
10/13/2016 11:16:00 pm

Christina, this is beautifully written and I do not believe you are risking humiliation to the men in your family because of the incredible love they have for you and the caring, respectful hearts they've always shown to others. I believe that your friends should care for you the way your family does too. I'm sorry for what you went through and it's really sad that speaking up makes you victimized again for anyone who goes through these experiences. I hope that more can be done to address these issues and prevent them in our future.

Reply
Christina link
10/14/2016 08:58:05 am

Thank you so much for your thoughtful words.

Reply
Aunt Leah
10/13/2016 11:53:28 pm

Oh my beautiful niece...your words mean so much. I too was repulsed and upset by Trump's words. I too have experienced the humiliation of sexual abuse. Today with this post you have taken your power back. I felt your fear and worry about our family reading this. I want to say this-you can walk with your head held high, that your family loves you , I believe you and I believe in you. Thank you for your words, for being so brave and strong. You're an incredible mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, niece..I could go on and on. I'm so proud of and love you so much. Walk tall beauty, you are a victim NO MORE!

Reply
Christina link
10/14/2016 08:59:26 am

I really appreciate this encouragement, Aunt Leah! I love you too.

Reply
Terry Naecker
10/14/2016 09:02:39 am

Christina,

I'm your Aunt Leah's best friend. She told me what you wrote about and I had to read the words of such a courageous young woman. Your words explain correctly what it feels like to be sexually assulted.

I'm saying this from experience, 45 years later. I believed it must have been something I did to encourage his behavior. This was someone I trusted my whole life, all 16 years at the time, a man my family trusted.

To be honest, I still question whether I somehow caused his behavior. My 61 year old brain laughs at that thought. How could I encourage a family member to sexually assult me? Yet I still carry the thought deep down inside.

My Dad once told me, "He's a sick man. He wouldn't hurt you." This person was an active alcoholic when this happened. And that is NOT AN EXCUSE for his behavior!!! He sexually assulted me.


Christina, you are much smarter than I am. You know that you did NOTHING to cause this assult. I so admire your strength to tell your story. I've heard wonderful things about you from Leah over the years.Your writing shows what a strong, fearless, talented, smart, loving young woman you are. Those that love you and believe in you will never walk away. Those that judge, it will be their loss to walk away.

The things you have lived through are the reasons we should never judge anyone. None of us can know what another person has gone through in their life. Some of us are survivors, some are not strong. Some of us have many people to help us through, some have no one. You have got the best support, a loving family and loving friends.

Stay strong, Christina. Sending you a big "auntie" hug.
Terry

Reply
Christina link
10/14/2016 09:09:46 am

Terry, I'm so sorry that was your experience. And I know those feelings well. I don't know if they come from the shame or if they were taught by our culture, but I know I'm working hard to make sure that, God forbid something like this ever happens to my daughters, their response will be different. Thank you so much for your encouraging words.

Stephani McCallum
10/14/2016 02:48:05 am

Thanks for putting into words what many of us couldn't or wouldn't dare. I always love the way you process the world. Your voice is quite the gift. Thanks for sharing it.

Reply
Christina link
10/14/2016 09:00:02 am

Thank you, Stephani. Your words mean a lot to me.

Reply
Valerie Albaugh
10/14/2016 05:27:40 am

I'm sorry you had to endure such pain. You have a gift of writing and I'm hopeful more people will hear your words loud and clear.

Reply
Christina link
10/14/2016 09:00:30 am

Thank you so much.

Reply
Scott Kinnebrew
10/14/2016 07:03:21 am

Christian men, we are failing the women in our lives. Your vote for someone does not imply your tacit approval of everything they say or do... BUT WHEN YOU JUSTIFY THEIR REPREHENSIBLE BEHAVIOR, it signals to everyone around you that you accept it. Including your wives. Including your daughters. Stop it. Stand up. Show these women that value them. That you will defend them. Make no mistake, doing otherwise degrades both you and the women around you.

Reply
Christina link
10/14/2016 09:06:21 am

Scott, I don't know you, but I can't express how much your words have touched my heart this morning. I have despaired, for years, over the silence of good men-- and especially Christian men. I hope you will continue speaking out. It is such an encouragement to so many of us.

Reply
Kiki Warren
10/14/2016 07:12:01 am

Thank you for sharing your heart! This happened to me also .... Over & over again! I'm 64yrs old now!!
Enough is enough! No one ever knew to what extent things happened to me....... People are judgemental without knowing what other people go through in their lives........ "Walk a mile in my shoes". The outcome might be different. Thank you again!

Reply
Christina link
10/14/2016 09:07:20 am

Kiki, thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry to hear you had similar experiences. I think some people would be shocked to know how many of us have.

Reply
Lissette link
10/14/2016 07:20:21 am

Thank you for this writing. While your experience is uniquely yours, it is also a version of every woman who has been assaulted. You articulated our experiences also. People who are excusing this behavior are truly not understanding the damage that they are doing presently and for the future. It's frustrating, sad and infuriating to witness this happening.

Reply
Christina link
10/14/2016 09:11:56 am

Thank you for that validation, Lisette. I've been astounded at the response so far. Though I hate the way it came about, I remain hopeful that these discussions are helping people to hear and understand something perspectives they might not otherwise have considered. Thank you for reading.

Reply
Dee McCarthy
10/14/2016 10:05:05 am

Christina,
(My husband and I used to attend Covenant.)
Thank you for your bravery and honestly. Many of my FB friends are brushing this issue aside and I am just speechless. I would like to share this with them.
This is beautiful and I ache for what you have gone through.
Dee

Reply
Christina link
10/14/2016 10:17:33 am

Of course I remember you, Dee! Thank you for reading and for your comment. I'd be honored if you shared this piece.

Reply
Dee McCarthy
10/14/2016 05:12:45 pm

Shared and only a few honest souls who cared to comment but one re-shated. You are awesomely articulate!

Catherine
10/14/2016 10:56:37 am

Thank you so much for posting this powerful, personal, deeply important response to this issue.

We have never met, but I felt compelled to respond when I read your post. I don't know a single woman who has not experienced unwanted sexual advances (at best) in her life, and I know countless others who have experienced assault, abuse and rape. I have my own story that I've shared with friends and family now after hearing people defend this awful man.

It is not normal.
It is not okay.
We must do better.

Thank you for speaking out. You are a courageous woman and have no doubt you make your family very proud.

Reply
Christina link
10/14/2016 04:11:44 pm

I've been thinking that so often this week: that 1 in 5 statistic has got to be completely wrong. I know very few women for whom this isn't the case. I'm with you-- I cannot accept that as reality for my daughters.

Reply
Jay Divine
10/14/2016 11:12:57 am

Christina, this is magnificent! You have gone to the very center of this heartbreaking problem like no one else has. This kind of courage, intelligence, eloquence, and passion--this directed fury--from strong women is what it will take to evolve a culture that has colluded in this ugliness for way too long.

Reply
Christina link
10/14/2016 04:13:23 pm

Jay, this means so much. You're a good man, and I appreciate your willingness to speak out on behalf of women more than you know. I'm glad to know you.

Reply
Jay Divine
10/15/2016 11:58:10 pm

I'm sure you're getting a sense from all the responses that your voice is unique and powerful in areas where others are mute. We count on you to continue using it.

Ellen Baber
10/14/2016 12:28:54 pm

Thank you Cristina for emptying your soul that we might understand on a deeper level the horror of what you experienced. I do know other stories similar to that which you beautifully explained. Such courage , I appreciate and applaud. I am deeply saddened by those who can not or will not allow your story and similar ones become true to them. You have given others courage and acceptance. I thank your husband for holding your hand, for holding you tight. Blessings dear to you and your beautiful family.

Reply
Christina link
10/14/2016 04:15:03 pm

Thank you, Ellen. I'm pretty sure there is merit just in the sharing itself, but I also dare to hope that there might be some who would allow this story in who might otherwise not have listened to someone in my position before.

Reply
Deanna Kasich
10/14/2016 12:49:45 pm

I cried when I read this. It makes me sad that you or anyone should have to go through this with any man. It's just plain wrong. Also, reading your words made me relive several of my own encounters. I too have been assaulted in the work place, in high school, and in college. I said nothing to anyone the first three times because I felt that I had no "personal power" in the 70s and 80s. The last incident was in the workplace in the early 90s at the company where you and I met. I said something that time and of course was ignored. Thank you for posting this. I believe it is important to look at the character of presidential candidates as well as policy. All candidates and all presidents will make plenty of mistakes in their careers because they are human and it's a really tough job, but there is something very disturbing about Trump's character. One telling sign of a decent character is the ability to acknowledge mistakes and at least attempt to modify behaviors based on that acknowledgement rather than simply excusing the errors. Trump was 60 years old when he said these things. He's had a lot of years to learn that this is wrong--there is no excuse. Trump makes no acknowledgment of errors. He makes excuses and has not changed his behaviors since I became familiar with him in the late 70s. He made brash comments about woman then. This is who he really is; this is his character.

Reply
Christina link
10/14/2016 04:16:50 pm

I'm so sorry that was your experience, DeAnna. It's outrageous that it is so commonplace, and that the response is so predictable. I understand that politics basically means seeing the same problems and reacting to them differently. But I've been scratching my head for months about this one.

Reply
Ann Heitland
10/14/2016 03:03:23 pm

Thank you for your courage in speaking out.

Reply
Christina link
10/14/2016 04:17:34 pm

Thank you for reading.

Reply
John Eubanks
10/14/2016 03:19:52 pm

Christina - your words spoke such truth with courage and conviction! As a Christian man who is trying to raise a strong, Godly daughter, having a man who is running for the highest office in the land be so cavalier in his thoughts and deeds and in his abject disrespect for women that his words project is something I will never understand. I am a Christian first, and my conservatism is far down the list of my priorities, and as a Christian man, we cannot make excuses for someone with such a vile worldview. What you went through personally should only drive this point home! I'm not saying I'm voting for Hillary because that - in my opinion - would also undercut my faith, but there is no way that I can vote for someone like Trump whose rhetoric on a good day should make any Christian bow their head in shame that he is being supported by so many in the Christian community!

Reply
Christina link
10/14/2016 04:19:28 pm

Hi, John. I wasn't prepared for the response this post would garner, but definitely one of my favorite parts has been the pleasant surprise of men taking the time to read and respond so thoughtfully. That has not always been my experience, sadly especially in Christian circles. Thank you so much.

Reply
Patricia Miller
10/14/2016 06:01:55 pm

Christina, Thank you for sharing your story! This happens more often than most people want to admit. We keep it to ourselves, for fear of making a bad situation worse, all too often. Sharing your story, with the strength and courage I'm sure it took, may help someone out there take a stand. Or at least know they are not alone. I applaud your honesty and willingness to share in each of your post, of which I read all. Signed, looking forward to future posts.

Reply
Angel
10/14/2016 09:11:55 pm

Great article. I can't believe the amount of support that has been behind this vile man and continues to be though over and over he shows his true colors. What has struck me as well has been the comments that have used scripture to justify his behavior and words. "Who is without sin" etc. Or those that say "stop being a hypocrite, you have sin too". Thank you for speaking up for those that are still not in a place to be bold about their past(or current situation) as a victim. I pray that the response by especially those in the church does not hurt these victims even more, though it's hard to see how it won't.

Reply
Christina link
10/16/2016 11:19:43 pm

Thank you for reading and for sharing your thoughts, Angel. I share your fears about the church, so imagine my excitement to see my pastor read and respond below, publicly and positively to this post. One good thing that is coming out of all of this nonsense seems to be people who might not otherwise have done so engaging in necessary, difficult conversation. I pray it can continue and change things.

Reply
David Biviano, Ph.D.
10/15/2016 02:35:57 pm

When I was assigned as a workshop trainer for the prevention of sexual harassment at a major university, my first task was to do an assessment of a college department subject to two lawsuits, interviewing a representative sample of male and female faculty and staff. I was totally shocked by what so many women told me about their workplace experiences from male faculty colleagues. It never occurred to me to discount or challenge their stories, as it was clear to me they were speaking from painful, agonizing experiences. Later, when I began investigating sexual harassment complaints, I learned that there were always two sides to a story - but, the story of the accuser was almost always validated. Many of the complainants had experienced the very things described in this testimony by this brave woman: blamed, discounted, avoided, transferred, dismissed, quit their job, lost promotions, were re-victimized.

This week has been a horror show of misogyny and vile shaming of women who have testified to the very behavior Trump boasted of having the privilege to engage in. He even repeats it in dismissing them as insufficiently attractive to be believed. It is a flashback to the ugliness of the Clarence Thomas hearings and shaming of Anita Bryant - and he sits on the Supreme Court.

Unless we listen to this account, and take women seriously, whether in the workplace, on a college campus, in elementary and high school, in their homes and neighborhoods, we will not see and not respond and not stop the culture of rape and sexual assault, verbal, emotional and physical.

Unless men change that culture, along with women who so often collaborate with that culture, we will continue to deal with this primordial and persistent "ism".

As evidenced by this ugly political campaign, we have made very little progress on this front, even slippage it appears, given the continued support for this most ignominious perpetrator. We must redouble our efforts. We must succeed. The safety and welfare of our children, our girls, as well as boys, often perpetrators, sometimes victims, are at stake.

Reply
Christina link
10/15/2016 05:28:54 pm

Thank you so much for this insightful, articulate response. I love any opportunity I have to thank a man for speaking up about sexual assault. I agree with you; male voices and involvement are so important as we seek to change this culture. I'm grateful you're on our side.

Reply
John Allen
10/15/2016 09:37:21 pm

Beautifully written Christina. I'm sorry you've had to experience these things, yet I'm thankful for your courage and vulnerability to share this. True strength offers itself to others honorably, even sacrificially. True strength validates the beauty and worth of others even at the risk of itself.

What we've heard on those tapes and what you have experienced is the blatant symptom of weak and insecure people. It's the vacuum resulting from the insecure who need to take, because they have no strength to give. Their show of strength is a masquerade, smoke and mirrors, empty and weak. It's the spirit behind everything from pornography and macho posturing, to sexual assault and rape.

This article is a testament of the true strength Christ has shown you and graced you with. It's laced with healing and redemption for everyone who may have written their own experiences off as "no big deal", and in the process discounted the very worth and beauty God has declared over them. I'm proud to know you, and proud you're in our church!

Reply
Abigail link
10/16/2016 12:48:12 pm

Beautifully written. Thank you for your words and all the courage you mustered to press the publish button! This resonates very deeply and this has made me feel less alone. You are a wonderful human.

Reply
Christina link
10/16/2016 11:20:52 pm

I can't tell you the joy I feel that you say you felt less alone reading this.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

    Picture

    About Me

    Christina | Virginia Beach
    Psuedo Yankee, city-loving former working mom of four finds herself home with the kids and transplanted to the somewhat Southern suburbs. Finding her feet while still attempting to harness the power of the passion of her youth for useful good.

    Picture

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    March 2020
    February 2020
    March 2019
    January 2019
    August 2018
    April 2018
    November 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011

    Categories

    All
    Anklebiter Anecdotes
    Bendetto
    Careful Feeding
    Charm City
    Complicated Joys
    Family Affairs
    Family Conference
    Festival Of Estrogen
    Grace For Moms
    Help Yourself
    Inanity & Insanity
    Looking Up
    Making It Home
    Mothering Missteps
    Moving Onward
    Music City
    Part Time Lover
    Part-time Lover
    Part-time Lover
    Soapbox
    Stumblings
    Su Casa
    The Village
    This City Life
    Wanderings
    Wifedom
    Worklife

    Links

    Grace for Moms

    MOPS International's Blog

    Amber Hudler

    Smarter Ardor.
    Copyright © 2011-2018.
    All Rights Reserved.
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos from lungstruck, Orin Zebest, yaquina, warrenski, Jing a Ling, The Shopping Sherpa, Sir, Rony, orangeacid, adrianvfloyd, SierraTierra, benjaflynn, Homeandgardners, eye's eye, katerha, LivingOS, wolfB1958, andyarthur, Jeremiah Ro, alextorrenegra, ShironekoEuro, mabahamo, iMorpheus, openuser, kamshots, nickHiebert, VinothChandar, Yashna M, mike138, Dougtone, cogdogblog, x1klima