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Why Don't You Be My Girlfriend?

10/18/2012

6 Comments

 
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It's hard to believe it now, but there was a time in my adult life that I said, "I'm not really in the market for new friends."  Granted, I said it to Daniel, probably because I felt annoyed or something-- I can't remember. I'm so far from that sentiment now it makes me laugh.

I think, regardless of where we lived, becoming a stay-at-home mom would have sent me on the hunt for more friends anyway. But friend-searching where we don't know anyone is sometimes daunting.

See, most people I meet are not new around here.  They have family here, or maybe a home church, and lots of friends. Just about everyone I've met has been wonderful.  But their lives are full, so the sense of urgency is just not there-- of course it isn't.  I guess I underestimated the time this would take, and I should have known better.  Making friends was always easy, until I became a mom.  Is it just me, or for some reason, has that seemed to make it harder? Life is busy, we are no longer our biggest priority, and it's hard. I can fill my whole days just with mothering and home management stuff alone.  It can be hard to determine how best to spend time, when days are crowded with so many "good" choices.

I have been so fortunate to meet some incredible women since moving to Tennessee. Seriously-- they are amazing.  Brilliant, lovely, funny, authentic, adventurous, thoughtful women who also happen to be pretty fantastic mothers.  In some ways I wonder if my overall disoriented nature isn't the reason I found them.  Had I been home, I probably wouldn't have joined every Meetup group I could find, might not have sought out MOPS, might not have left our block party breathless only to return with my phone to (probably rather rudely) request a potential girlfriend's number.

I am hopeful I will soon be past the small talk, past saving numbers in my phone with a description of a girl so I will remember which new face she was when she calls, past the itchy awkwardness.  I'm looking forward to cups of coffee at chaotic kitchen tables and nights out without crayons. I'm longing for familiarity-- when I won't have to so carefully measure everything I say (Heaven knows I'm no good at that!) because everything is said to people with no larger context of me. I'm looking forward to having girlfriends that are not long-distance, nap-time calls away, looking forward to having-- and being-- someone to depend on in a bind.

When the awkwardness fades and I'm part of a tribe, I hope I'll remember this.  I hope I'll risk seeming pushy and call, invite, reach out to the girls outside.

6 Comments
Big Poppy
10/18/2012 05:00:19 pm

Great insights, Keek. They will serve you well in the service of others!

Reply
renee
10/19/2012 01:55:02 am

So true... We've been in CHS for 2.5 years and I am still in that boat.. part of it for me is my season is different from most of the womenI meet.. in that I only have Mikayla (6.5yrs old) and they mostly all have 2 or more kids so they have the younger ones to releate with other women too, I don't.. no kids at home during the day for playdates etc... praying for ya girl!

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Christina link
10/19/2012 11:31:18 am

Oh, Renee, I feel you! It's funny how it feels like a friend has to be "the same" as us-- same number and ages (and even genders) of kids, same work situation, same worldview. I've met a bunch of women here lately, none of whom is "just like me." It's helping me to branch out and stop artificially limiting who can be my friend. It's all a growing and strengthening process, to be sure! Praying for you too!

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Jessica link
10/19/2012 07:39:49 am

I know you are not the only one in this boat. I'm so glad you joined MOPS so I could meet you. Looking forward to getting to know one another!!

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Christina link
10/19/2012 11:31:46 am

Thanks, Jessica! Same here!

Reply
kittywilde mfc link
9/29/2013 01:44:04 pm

Great blog, I just created an account here too.

Reply



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    Christina | Virginia Beach
    Psuedo Yankee, city-loving former working mom of four finds herself home with the kids and transplanted to the somewhat Southern suburbs. Finding her feet while still attempting to harness the power of the passion of her youth for useful good.

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